This week's theme

Now, to set a new record for most blog posts in a day, I'd like to announce my newest idea for my blog: themed weeks.  Each week in the next few (I'm not sure how long this will last), I will choose a topic and write something about it on each day of the week.  On Saturday, I will summarize my posts and come up with a new topic.  This week's theme: absurd situations.

Shoot.  I'm stuck.   Where am I?  Why is it so dark?  Why does the world seem to spin so much and so quickly?  It seems like my inner ear is going on a microscopic roller coaster ride without giving me (as agreed in Bodily Contract Section IV.A.2) two weeks of advance warning. 
I am surrounded by soft fabric.  At my feet I can feel something soft enough to be fleece.  My left arm is pressed against a cloth-like object.  All around me is a damp smell, like a mix of wet dog and cleaning solution.  The spinning is getting nauseating.  At last, at long, long, last, the world comes to a halt.  I still can't see anything, but at least my inner ears are no longer revolting.  Once I regain control of my rebellious stomach, I decide to determine my location by experiment.  I flail a leg.  It makes a muffled clanging noise as my shin suddenly sends a piercing message to me: "Ouch!  Don't do that!" Well, that wasn't very helpful.  In a slightly more controlled manner, I poke my other leg around.  It encounters a soft resistance. Moving on, I jab my right elbow backwards.  You'd think I'd learn.  My funny bone joins my shin in its painful chorus.  In addition to that is a hollow, metallic ringing which echoes painfully in the confined space.  Finally, I tentatively push outward with my left arm.  It meets a slight resistance, and then breaks through.  Light painfully floods into my eyes, and I fall out of the dryer onto the Laundromat floor.  

Any suggestions for absurd situations or week themes are quite welcome.  Either tell me in person or leave a comment on one of my posts.